Movies can make us mad sometimes. Image by liquidlearn.com
By Nicholas Lives
Movies can be magical things. Movies can take you away from the horrors of your life and put you into the horror of someone else's life. Movies can take you on magical journeys through time and space. Movies can also often be big piles of crap. Hollywood has the tendency to do annoying things in their movies, and that's why I made this list. Hollywood, listen up.
NICK'S UNABRIDGED LIST OF THINGS HOLLYWOOD NEEDS TO QUIT DOING BECAUSE IT'S GETTING ON HIS NERVES:
1. Stop replacing actors in sequels.
For me, this is a big one. Whenever a sequel to some mediocre film comes out, and the studio finds that the original actors chose not to participate, they decided to try and pull a fast one on us by hiring similar-looking actors and then pretending they're the same characters. Look, we're not idiots.
The most atrocious example of this Hollywood switch-a-roo is when they replaced the "Daddy Day Care" protagonists Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Paul Rae in the equally atrocious sequel, "Daddy Day Camp." So what, Hollywood? Did you think that replacing a black actor with another black actor and a fat actor with another fat actor would convince us that they are the same people from the first film? Putting aside the fact that a movie like "Daddy Day Care" shouldn't even need a sequel, that kind of actor replacement is just downright insulting to the audience's intelligence.
2. Stop shoving pop culture references where they don't belong.
I can't help but groan in agony every time I see a character in a movie interrupt the story just so he can throw in a reference to Facebook, Twitter, or whatever music artist was popular at the time, all in some vain attempt to "modernize" the film. We don't care how "modern" your movie is, we just want to watch the movie. Nothing sets off my crap-o-meter more than when a character in a movie says,
"Yeah, I saw that on Youtube. LOL."
Keep your LOL's to yourself.
3. Stop making crappy movies.
This one speaks for itself. It's pretty simple really. Hollywood, this is something you really need to work on. Just admit you have a problem. Think of the children.
Movies can be magical things. Movies can take you away from the horrors of your life and put you into the horror of someone else's life. Movies can take you on magical journeys through time and space. Movies can also often be big piles of crap. Hollywood has the tendency to do annoying things in their movies, and that's why I made this list. Hollywood, listen up.
NICK'S UNABRIDGED LIST OF THINGS HOLLYWOOD NEEDS TO QUIT DOING BECAUSE IT'S GETTING ON HIS NERVES:
1. Stop replacing actors in sequels.
For me, this is a big one. Whenever a sequel to some mediocre film comes out, and the studio finds that the original actors chose not to participate, they decided to try and pull a fast one on us by hiring similar-looking actors and then pretending they're the same characters. Look, we're not idiots.
The most atrocious example of this Hollywood switch-a-roo is when they replaced the "Daddy Day Care" protagonists Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Paul Rae in the equally atrocious sequel, "Daddy Day Camp." So what, Hollywood? Did you think that replacing a black actor with another black actor and a fat actor with another fat actor would convince us that they are the same people from the first film? Putting aside the fact that a movie like "Daddy Day Care" shouldn't even need a sequel, that kind of actor replacement is just downright insulting to the audience's intelligence.
2. Stop shoving pop culture references where they don't belong.
I can't help but groan in agony every time I see a character in a movie interrupt the story just so he can throw in a reference to Facebook, Twitter, or whatever music artist was popular at the time, all in some vain attempt to "modernize" the film. We don't care how "modern" your movie is, we just want to watch the movie. Nothing sets off my crap-o-meter more than when a character in a movie says,
"Yeah, I saw that on Youtube. LOL."
Keep your LOL's to yourself.
3. Stop making crappy movies.
This one speaks for itself. It's pretty simple really. Hollywood, this is something you really need to work on. Just admit you have a problem. Think of the children.
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